I do not know about you, but sometimes life works out in a way that leads me to think, I didn’t ask for this. It is a small thought, and can be valid at times. We all deal with life events we did not ask for, but some of us have this moment of pause. It is a pause that gets filled with a seeming self righteous removal from blame. And there very well could be a moment I truly had no say in the outcome which I am now dealing with. My turning thought is, sure, maybe I am not to blame, but how can I make it better.
I know that this mentality, the ‘how can I make it better,’ can change a life, because it changed mine. I know that genuinely asking that question will change anyone’s life.
I used to say to my wife, I would not choose my life like this. As anyone could see, having a partner tell you this would be challenging. When I told her this, it was referring to my bipolar and my face aches. At times there was a tinge of psychosis too.
The other point about sharing this is that I was not thinking about how to better my life in those moments. I was resigned to the fact that I could not change it.
Now I do not want to move on without saying, it is hard to ask how to make a situation better. When I was at my wits end, all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. I did just that a few times.
Life got better when I did say to myself, okay this sucks, but how can I make it better? What did I do? It was a pile of small choices. I decided to journal. I decided to pick up guitar. I decided to learn German. I decided to study the DnD worlds. And I decided to share more about my Disorder. And I chose to do a little toward each thing, every day.
Once I started doing those things everyday, time added up on how I chose to live life. Sure I still experience bad times and pain. But I also decided to keep asking myself, what can I do to make my time here better. That choice is huge.
To drive this home, I want you to think about choosing four things that require you to work on them a little each day. Think about long term what achieving these goals would look like. Use that thought as motivation to do those things every day.
Remember, you will need time for your normal activities like hygiene and eating. And do not beat yourself up if you don’t get to work on your goals. But do strive to work on them each day.
You will get better, say at playing guitar, and the quality of your practice will change. You may peak at one of your activities and the quality of it may become boring. It is in those times that you must still choose to work toward that goal you set. Remember what it will feel like when you achieve the desired effect. Remember that if you keep going, you will get there.
So sure, you may not have chosen this life, but you can choose what to do while you are living it.
Stay Strong, and full of Love!